I have been struggling for some time now, with relationships; relationships with others, romantic and platonic, and also my relationship with myself. As a prepubescent and adolescent I struggled with issues of body image and with my relationship to food as well as with sex and sexuality, understandably so, as that time I was also a victim of online sexual abuse. At the age of fifteen I had my first homoerotic experience in real life, but I wouldn’t realize that’s what it was until much later.
I plan on creating a body of work that references the thoughts, feelings and experiences, related to these struggles. Using whatever medium those experiences demand I will create a series of visuals in order to share, and for myself contain those feelings about food, love, sexuality, abuse, and what it means to be a family. I plan on starting a correspondence project with my friend Alexa, who currently lives in southern California in order to reaffirm our friendship and once again know each other on a daily basis. I also plan on starting to keep an online food journal in blog format about my relationship to food, cultural thoughts and customs about food, the food I am eating and anything else that feels appropriate to put there.
I believe that food is a collective experience, and as such it touches every aspect of our lives. Food brings people together and can also be used as a wedge to push people apart. Food is a symbol of fertility and harvest, to share food with someone is a sign of caring and intimacy it is for these reasons that I believe food is an important part of any body of work about relationships.
I think it is simple, if I can teach myself to love food, I can teach myself to love myself, and then be able to have more healthy relationships with others.